There are those days when a quick yet sassy comeback can either shoo annoying people away or make a dull day better. When those days come, turn to the Patron Saint of Sassy Yet Spooky Comebacks for inspiration. Yes, we’re talking about THE Wednesday Addams of the Addams Family.
You can never go wrong with Wednesday Addams quotes. NEVER.
What is Wednesday Addams Known For?
The eldest child of TV’s spookiest yet most loving family, Wednesday is a fan favorite because of her sadistic and sarcastic personality, goth aesthetic and sinister planning. According to Dictionary.com, Wednesday most likely got her name from a nursery rhyme line, “Wednesday’s is a child of woe.” But Miss Addams is more than woe personified; she is an icon.
Wednesday Addam’s signature black dress with the white Peter Pan collar and matching braids is so iconic, no Halloween goes by without anyone dressing up as Wednesday.
The Addams Family’s Wednesday is such a mood, her quotes are just as iconic as her — and very much relatable. So if you’re looking for a quick comeback, a sassy retort or just to quote an iconic film character, Wednesday Addams is YOUR girl.
Here are some of our favorites.
What Would Wednesday Addams Say? Quotes to Live By
“This is my costume. I’m a homicidal maniac. They look just like everyone else.
We’re not talking about being actual murderous adult Wednesday Addams here, but most of us can relate to “wearing a costume” every day. On the outside, you look all sane and put together, but on the inside, you’re probably raging like a homicidal maniac.
Wednesday Addams exposes everyone who pretends to be prim people, looking like they have it together. In reality, it helps to acknowledge that personal craziness or rage concealed behind a normal façade. It is OK (as long as you don’t kill anyone, that is).
“I’ll clean my room in exchange for your immortal soul.”
A request is OK, but when someone tells you what to do (especially when you wish to not be bothered like Wednesday), a threat sounds just about right.
In this memorable scene, a potential nanny is telling off Wednesday and Pugsley to clean their room. Wednesday pays back the favor by bringing out her devil puppet and telling the nanny that she will clean her room in exchange for her soul.
It’s a great deal, right? It sounds like one you can use for someone who thinks they can boss you around.
“Everyone knows it. When you have a new baby, one of the other children has to die.”
Siblings — most of the time, you love them. Sometimes, you want them to disappear.
Wednesday Addams sympathizes with you. Although she and Pugsley saw their old stairs, they talk about the new baby. Naturally, Wednesday, being the unbothered queen that she is, tries to scare her brother off — a subtle reminder that she’s the superior child of the Addams Family.
Maybe you can relate to Wednesday. Your siblings are OK, but you just wanna scare them off sometimes. Take a leaf out of Wednesday’s book and give them an occasional scare.
Morticia: “Wednesday’s at that special age where she has one thing on her mind.” Ellen: “Boys?” Wednesday: “Homicide.”
Why does society think women have only one thing in their heads? And why does it always have to be boys? The myths about women should end!
Ellen’s Karen-like answer triggers today’s modern woman who’d like to prove that there’s more to life than men. She’s thinking about other things too: how to jumpstart her career, how to get promoted, how to start her business, how to marathon Disney Princess movies during her break time and — yes — homicide.
“You might find a nice girl to be miserable with.”
Do you have a friend who needs to start dating but is hesitant because “I like being miserable?”
A younger Wednesday Addams had the same experience with Lurch, the Addams family’s manservant. Lurch hid from the kids after they tried to send him to the Butler’s Ball. Unfortunately for him, Thing ratted him out and Wednesday found him hiding in a mummy’s casket. When they found him, Wednesday tried to encourage him to go to the ball, but Lurch insisted that he liked being alone and miserable.
Does that sound like a friend you know? A friend who likes being miserable alone?
It pays to be an encourager. Remind them that they don’t have to live this life on their own. They can find someone to be miserable with.
“Now I understand. This is a children’s prison.”
Her first day of school and Wednesday says what we wanted to say during our years of schooling: “This is a children’s prison.”
Technically, it’s a sinister way of looking at the academic institution that educated us. But there’s no getting around it; everyone, at one point, has thought of school as a prison. Even when you’re out of school, you’re still trapped in plenty of prisons (ehem, a job you don’t like, perhaps).
“I hate everything.”
This Wednesday Addams one-liner is one of her best quotes. It sums every feeling in three words: “I hate everything.”
This quote is useful for those days when things are just not going your way. Whether it’s a stressful day in the office, an encounter with an annoying relative, or just an overall bad day, we all deserve to utter the words “I hate everything” once in a while.
“Then I can run away and still be around to see them suffer.”
Revenge is sweet, but it’s sweeter when you see vengeance happen before your very eyes.
It happens; life screws with us using the people around us. One of the most common scenarios you’d love to practice vengeance is when an ex cheats on you. When cheaters cheat, vengeance becomes sweeter. But as good, law-abiding citizens, we keep ourselves from actually killing them and instead satisfy ourselves with fantasies of cutting the cheater’s heads off.
This Wednesday Addams quote perfectly describes that fantasy. And you can live it out, eventually — without murdering anyone. Remember: what goes around comes around and hopefully, you’ll be there to witness that downfall.
“We don’t hug.”
This is a shout out to all the people who’re not the biggest huggers in the world. Just because you’re not a big fan of being folded into another person’s arms, it doesn’t mean you’re weird.
You’re just as cool as Wednesday.
“Popularity is fleeting. I prefer to set my sights on something challenging — the establishment.”
Probably one of the best scenes in the cartoon reboot of the “Addams Family,” Wednesday shows her friend and new classmates that popularity is just a shallow rival. If you want to fight a bigger giant, fight the establishment.
A popular girl makes fun of Wednesday’s friend. Little did she know, that would be the last thing she’d do as Wednesday turns a science experiment against her. In a scene mimicking the famous Frankenstein scene, Wednesday raises all the dead frogs to life and has them chase after the popular girl, all the while terrifying her new classmates and teacher.
Take a page out of Wednesday’s book. If you’re standing up for a cause, don’t just fight the enemy — fight the system that built your enemy.
Joel: “But what if you met the right man, who worshiped and adored you? Who’d do anything for you? Who’d be your devoted slave? Then what would you do?” Wednesday: “I’d pity him.”
There’s nothing wrong with meeting a man who adores you but no one needs a manservant (unless that’s your thing and you have the dough for it). Joel’s obsessed with Wednesday and Wednesday’s just not having it. Any person who claims to catch the stars for you to kiss deserves a massive CRINGE.
“If I wanted to kill my husband, I’d do it, and I wouldn’t get caught. “
Most wives their husbands, but there are those days when he just toes a line, and all of a sudden, you want to dig his grave. This Wednesday Addams quote is perfect for the disgruntled wife annoyed with her husband’s antics. Of course, no one will commit murder in real life (hopefully), but in this theoretical situation, might as well murder the man yourself.
“No one torments my family but me.”
Family is love, but they can also be annoying. Some people live for annoying their parents and siblings. But when an outsider does the annoying, that’s crossing the line. No one has the right to torment your family except you.
“It’s getting dark in this little heart of mine.”
One of the best things about Wednesday Addams is her honesty, albeit brutal. In her world, darkness is welcome and accepted. She’s no prim and proper girl; she’s a girl who accepts who she is and is unafraid of voicing it out.
Sometimes, it’s OK to acknowledge that your heart is getting a bit dark. Voicing it out can help you deal with your comings and goings. Don’t pretend you’re OK; embrace your darkness, talk about it and find a way around it.
“I’m not perky.”
Society has no right to tell you who you should be or what to do. If the world says that you should be perky and happy all the time, be a Wednesday. She’s no smiling girl who daydreams about the best princess wedding gowns. She’s a goth girl and she ain’t sunny.
If the world says you have to be perky, they can do it on your behalf, thank you very much.
“And for all these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground.”
We all have that one person we don’t like with a burning passion (we’d want to say hate but it is a strong word). The reason you dislike them could be anything: they’re arrogant, insensitive or just plain awful to you.
No matter what the reason, we are discouraged from hurting anyone physically. But we can always put ourselves in Wednesday’s shoes as she threatens Sarah Miller and the pilgrims with a good-old scalping session on Thanksgiving.
“Be afraid. Be very afraid.”
It’s a simple line, but it’s for everyone who wants to show the world they’re not a pushover. Wednesday’s iconic line is perfect for showing others that you’re not one to mess around, that you are someone to be taken seriously and — yes — they should be afraid of you.
More Wednesday Addams Quotes to Come?
Our sassy Wednesday Addams always has quip comebacks — no matter what series she’s in. From the original 1964 The Addams Family TV series to Hanna-Barbera’s take on the spooky family, there’s always a Wednesday Addams quote for every life scenario. And it looks like there’s more to come.
In February 2021, Netflix announced that Wednesday Addams will have her own live-action Addams Family spin-off series with director Tim Burton leading the project. Her new show Wednesday will feature the Addams daughter heading off to Nevermore Academy as she tries to stop a villainous killing spree while solving a mystery involving her parents. At the same time, Wednesday’s got some more growing up to do! So, if you’ve seen the adult Wednesday Addams series on YouTube, you know that Wednesday gets more morbid and wittier as she ages.
So, with the Wednesday Addams Netflix series on the horizon, we can all look forward to more quotable quotes from our favorite sadistic goth girl.
Wednesday Addams is a mood and the inner animal of people who want to be sassy and sinister at the same time. Keep her quotes handy so that you can enhance your life and win each day — Wednesday Addams style.